Tag Archive: Tellings


As always it feesl very exciting and quiet a personal acheivement to reach week number three. Apologies for the delay in posting due to a marvelous trip away; the results of which have inspired my poery tremendously and the detailed write up of which, will appear on my sister site ‘The Midknight Garden’.

April 15th    Falling to Earth: A Seasonal Tale [or a Tale for all Seasons]

When I fell to earth I landed with a very hard bump somewhere in the northern isles, onto very cold hard ground.

Yet it was not meant to be that way or so I had imagined.

I had always envisaged my arrival to be a much more glamorous entrance

With maybe a cloud or two parting and a revelry of trumpets blazing;

A great and glorious light in the sky would have been an added bonus of course.

However my Father was not won over by such pomp and circumstance

And was having none of it.

So my much anticipated entry into the mundane was something of an anti climax

And not an event that I care to chat about much.

Accepting the fact that an earthly entry of splendour was not to be

I set about discovering my first of many very humbling challenges.

Looking down through the lenses of my new but limiting physical eyes

I realised I now had a body;

In fact a body of condensed matter, hence the novelty of the bump and pain upon landing;

No Garment of Light in this realm then.

No my new garment was well and truly that of flesh and blood human;

This minor creation of my family’s doing, I of course had previous knowledge of

Whilst sojourning in the higher realms with Dad.

Yet at that point in time we did have very great and splendid hopes for this quaint species…

This new body then was very dense and movement was somewhat clumsy at first

But over time I kind of got used to it.

Everything was of the physical here,

No need for that now redundant third eye then

And my earthy feet actually could walk upon the lands.

This earthly lark is harder than I thought;

I actually need a team around me I mused to myself.

Support, company, a partner; all of that and more I longingly wished for,

And I set about casting my net far and wide upon the shores of time.

I knew that the teachings of Love and Light

Would come in time and many would rejoice in The Way,

But equally there would be those who’s hearts and minds were destined always to remain closed.

My team were good; I had chosen them well amongst mankind and they in turn helped in spreading The Wisdom of the Word to new lands afar.

In the world of men there were certainly others out there, also like me preaching the ultimate truths of the universe

But also there were those that desired me dead.

So life became a series of adventures spent teaching and leaving clues for those who would follow, to one day read and decipher.

There followed years of much ducking and diving as the spears of adversity constantly whistled passed my ears.

Times too, when the only life I knew was that of keeping well and truly in front of those swift bullets of destiny.

I knew my time upon the physical plain in this body was to be very limited,

Yet my life was full of honouring and spreading my Father’s word and teaching the truths and beauty of our race, with my companions by my side.

I was fully aware when my time upon the mundane sphere was to end

And had complete knowledge of they who would deliver the final treacherous blow,

It had always been known to me.

I knew also that when I left, it was not to be for ever, far from it in fact,

For I have returned time and time again so to complete the cycle, my purpose.

I will always be the Alpha and Omega; your beginning and your end.

And please don’t believe all you read about me, my press is truly horrendous and           as with the so called modern day tabloids, it is all fake news, false flags and false events.

Pay no heed to the many false prophets either, for those who shout the loudest have by far the lest to say.

But humans if nothing, are creatures of great imagination and guile

And will make anything up for a quick buck,

Always being ‘in it’ for themselves.

Out for anything they can get, including murder…

Often the wheels of destiny have to be turned for certain events to play out

And once set in motion those wheels simply cannot be unturned.

I fully knew my fate upon this physical plain;

I knew what lay in store, yet had great sadness for those who were destined to deliver it.

But a cross!!?

My ending on a cross!?

Now come on, really?

Whose bright idea was that to invent this little tale?

The true tale of the cross is something else entirely and for another day.

Other lands, other bodies and other lives I always constantly sought out.

I have always been with you.

I am with you still

Yet you know me not,

My fate and yours have always been mapped through time

Always intermingled

Always hand in hand

Centuries came and centuries went

Only the few faithful ones ever knew me and took me by the hand fully knowing me.

True friendships forged will always be welded strong in truth and bonded for ever.

As the Blacksmith welds the iron sword strong in the flame

So my armour is welded strong around me by the flame of truth.

The time for looking back is no more;

The days of the past are done.

The days of uri ma esentu are coming to an end.

Shadows are once more being cast upon the lands

And new tales and new beginnings are being woven among the stars.

E Utu Nana ma Adar will forever hold the truths.

There are those who will always know my tale

Will always tell it as it was.

There are those who cast shadows on all I do

And will never give up seeking me,

Yet with a lightness of spirit I rise and fall time and time again

As do the perpetual oceans of the new unseen worlds.

So this is my tale, my truth, within your world of illusion.

I could be anywhere still;

Forever coming to terms with this challenging corporeal body

Yet still walking firmly (just) with sartorial elegance and grace

Upon these magical shores,

Within your time

And all time

Til this time is no more

And the sound of the rising oceans

Herald that my tale is finally told….

 

April 16th

Dark desire awaits

Upon dreamings threshold dark

Eternity calls

 

Minds magic doorway

A portal to shadow realms

Whisked away each eve

 

What can be revealed?

When morning sweetly kisses

Soft and blushing cheeks

 

Lips of innocence

Scent of roses old and dead

A musky perfume

 

An illusion called

A reality fulfilled

Mortality ceased

 

Memory returns

On unfulfilled haunted wings

Shadows banished home

 

Twixt the worlds of man

And the other world of dreams

Lie high prices paid

 

Soft bloodstained kisses

Heightened feelings, all aglow

Death stalks silently…

 

April 17th

The alchemy of

Air and water, earth and fire

A sorcerer’s soup

 

April 18th

Dark soma, sleep purged

Morning’s frantic edges ironed

Espresso’s smooth kick

 

April 19th      Quick fire words off the top of my head, making sense eventually…

Love
Life
Lifetime
Future
One way
No ticket
Looking
Searching
Reaching
Through time
Tides
Ride
Run
Hide
No way
Don’t look
Look round
Past done
Over
Gone
Blink of an eye
No way
No lies
No running
Seek sanctuary
Stillness
Rest
Breathe
Live
Die
Life is over
In a blink of an eye…

 

April 20th

I danced at midnight
Hand in hand with pain
Sleep derived
Far from home again

I wandered far
And i wandered near
Searching for something
Already here

My lost was found
My dying done
Reality singed
In the waning sun

All of my travels
Had bought me here
Standing alone
On the edge of fear

As the oceans rise
And the oceans fall
As the secrets reveal
I will tell it all

The future is in
The hands of a few
And promises made
Dissolve as the dew

We all make choices
To live of die
Yet some of us fly
Beyond the sky

Illusions are made
Under the moon and sun
In a world of shadow
With no where to run

Within is where
The truth resides
The elders deicide
If you live or die

Gods sit among us
And roll the die
It wont matter to them
How loud we cry

Its all been a breeze
Its been so much fun
Dont fall off the edge
When the day is done

On the lip of midnight
I sit alone
Surrounded by darkness
But totally home

 

April 21st

The silence is all
It cannot rage
It just is.
Within the silence
The pulse is deafening
Connecting us
To the Wyrd.
Breathe deep
Become the Silence
Hear the breath
Hold the Still within.
All ages are one
Time dissolves
Into the One
Then into nothing.
The Breath
The Silence
Is all.
Questions
Answers
Dissipate
Into the void.
An eternal beat
Upon timeless shores.
Answers flow
Questions unspoken
The mind consumes
The ego slaughters
Numbering days.
Counting
Tick…tick.
The beating heart
Pulsates
Within the earth
Telling all
We live and die
In silence.
As the silent beat goes on.

 

Exmore 1

NaPoWriMo 2017

‘The Keeper of Scrolls’

That time around midnight

When the air hangs as cold and as still as death itself.

When the earth sleeps

And only the creatures of the night are out foraging for food.

That was the time

When I saw her.

I had popped out to empty the rubbish.

I had my eyes half screwed up and was hunched because of the cold.

I didn’t notice anyone there at first.

The shadows;

They always seem to come alive at that time of night.

Yet I caught a faint flicker,

A kind of glimmer in the darkness.

Assuming it was light escaping from my half open kitchen door,

I made my way around the side of the house to the bin.

As I came back to the garden I heard a faint sound,

A beating of wings,

Then silence.

Something, I don’t know, made me look up and walk towards the pond.

It was then,

Then I saw her.

She was sitting on the rockery beside the overgrown heather,

Unaware I was watching,

Staring, utterly enthralled at the snowdrops.

I think she had never seen anything so beautiful,

But then neither had I watching her.

I could hardly dare to breathe lest my breath should give my game away.

Her delicate silvery hand stretched out to tenderly pluck a bloom.

I was unsure whether to move forward or back or just stay there.

Then in that instant,

In that very instant she saw me.

A moment transfixed in time

Lasting an eternity;

Yet in reality a split of a second.

Her eyes pierced mine

And I felt her soul and mine beat as one.

Recognition.

And in that very moment I knew I would never ever see her again.

It was as if she realised then, that she shouldn’t have been here.

Shouldn’t have been seen.

She gave me one last haunting glance

And with a gentle beat of her translucent wings silently faded into another realm.

 

The air was colder

And stiller than ever before.

A dark void was all that was left.

I walked over to the pond,

There on the ground were the snowdrops,

Strewn as she had left them

In her haste to depart.

I bent over and gently picked them up,

Caressing them against my cheek as I walked back to the house.

 

A lone tear dropped on to the perfect white petals.

I shut the door as I went inside,

Suddenly shivering.

 

Then started looking for a tiny vase.

 

fairy

 

Written 17th February 2003

‘The Keeper of Scrolls’

Dark Moon Rising

There’s a dark moon on the rise tonight,

Sweet fear scents the air.

In blackest skies, from other worlds

A shadow casts its cloak.

A tale once played in ancient times

On this day will be told.

A Harvest sown so long ago

Stands ripened in the Sun.

What was sown will now be reaped,

‘Tis the blood of every Lamb.

There’s blood and fear upon our lips

And dread in every soul.

We feed the Ones who take and break

Our Oaths put to the test.

Our souls they steal within no bounds

To spill our Dark Blood on the ground.

Silently in darkest night

In masks known just to them,

Their rightful prize, their precious gold

Will not escape again.

As Dark descends and chaos reigns

The writings yet unfold.

We fall before the ones who map

The fate of every man.

Seize the fear and taste the Blood.

Be counted good and true.

Stay or go – tis up to you;

It is the final test.

As curtains fall upon this world

The tale is finally told.

But those who rid their earthly ties

Will see the Light shine through.

In deepest, darkest, deathly night

We start our life anew.

 

black-moon

 

2007

 

Hidden Corners

In the corners of ones mind are hidden spaces and places that only you ever dare go.

These are the places where the dragons dwell, where the wizards roam and where the demons cast their spells.

These are the magical places, the exciting places, the worlds where the vampires are at home.

And there’s only you there, you can be totally yourself, it’s home, it’s anywhere, it’s everywhere; it’s a passage of time and a passing of time and it is amazing.

For if the truth be told, on a flip of a coin, it’s as real as you and me and is everything you would want it to be;  just look around and maybe you will see it too….

Maybe I will meet you there on the cusp of midnight….

Just you and i….

 

Digital Camera

Hidden corners of the world…..

 

 

party

The plain black envelope lay on the floor in the hallway; it had lain there all day undisturbed. Without a shadow of a doubt I knew who had sent it and yet I was still unable to open it. My mind was racing and my heart was thumping. I felt scared yet elated but why now, especially after the events of this particular evening? My actions, dormant for so long had once again taken me way outside of society’s norms and right back into a place beyond normal comprehension.

Still starring at the envelope, I recognized at once the familiar shiny black wax seal. It was definitely his seal, his sigil. Only an elite and chosen few had ever actually seen it for real, had ever been privy to knowing. I tentively picked up the envelope as I made my way into the tiny kitchen to make a much needed coffee. My heart thumping in my mouth I placed the envelope on the kitchen table and put the kettle on.

Trying to keep calm and acting as normal as I could; I ushered my ‘new companion’ into the sitting room and went back into the kitchen, thinking… It had been years since I had seen ‘him’ and yet I always knew we were destined to meet again one day, for one last time.

The kettle boiled.  I rinsed out the cafetiere with the hot bubbling water before spooning in the very special dark coffee blend which I so loved. When filled with hot water I took the steaming cafetiere over to the table, I fetched two pretty china cups (I have always hated coffee in a mug) and sat down for a moment and simply stared.

I plunged the plunger of the cafetiere down into the dark, steamy liquid. Was it my imagination or did something plunge into my heart too? What ever it was, my heart was most certainly pounding. Pouring out the coffee and sipping the dark deliciousness before me, I reached out and touched the black envelope. But suddenly shuddering I put the envelope back down on the table while I drank my coffee… I had forgotten my ‘companion’ waiting all alone on my old comfy sofa; I offered him coffee in a cup, but my mind was racing; buzzing, was elsewhere…

 I never fitted in, ever. Even before….

Thoughts now raced inside my head, my brain throwing up those feelings and memories of earlier times; long ago memories, it all came flooding back. A rusty old key in my Pandora’s Box of a head had been turned….

I had never found my place within so called society. I never played the game, even all those years ago before it happened. I was always a threshold walker lurking on the fringes of society pretending to belong; pretending to be human. Even way back in those distant times, in my early adult days when I was still one hundred percent human, I could still not find it within myself to fit in. Oh I tried, I tried to fit in, tried so hard to belong. Yet being a part of the human race never really cut it for me. I knew they mocked me from afar; my peers, some even to my face. All my contempories thought the same way; they despised me for daring to be different in an age when conformity was everything, when women were supposed to know their place.

I did try and play their silly games, I pretended for quite a while; pretended to belong. Pretended time and time again to walk the corridors of the mundane and thus I appeared to become whom they wanted me to be. It took its toll on me though, I was so naïve in those far away days and yet was still desperately longing, even way back then for I knew not what. I was unhappy, frustrated and sick of my life and my so called privileged upbringing. My calling then was always of a different kind

My so called given destiny as a ‘lady’ was in the Court of the then King, whom too had terribly lost his way; but that’s another different tale entirely. How could I play these games, be used and curtail to a King who used his misplaced power in such a way? Longing for a male heir he disregarded the women who were born to please him, they all became carrion of his quest; his Queens. I viewed all this in silence; the deaths, the beheadings, the betrayals, always as an outsider lurking even then, on the fringes of courtly society, safe on the edges, secure in the shadows. Yet always with eyes wide open.

However I often sought solace and kinship amongst the noble and brave knights of the court, both on and off duty.  From an early age I had been trained in the skills of a healer and herbalist which was something that thankfully took me out of the mundane day to day confines and rules of the court and I would often find myself tending to the needs of the knights. At first they did not notice me, apart from having a need of my skills as a healer but over time I earned their trust and became a confidant and friend. They seemed to know the true ways of the world and knew and hinted of unspoken things that I did not fully understand.

One knight in particular caught my eye, though he hardly ever spoke to me and certainly did not notice me, or so I thought. But there was ‘something’ about him; his eyes burned bright with an iridescent inner fire and even when alone in my quarters I often sensed those piercing, penetrating eyes burning into my back. He always seemed to be somehow older and wiser than the rest, maybe from wisdom and knowledge gained on his vast travels and experiences of the world.

 My own yearning and quest for knowledge would regularly take me out into the shadows of night-time, outside of the safety net of the court and away from the knights. I was free-falling. I would don men’s attire and slip out while the court slept, returning before sunrise. Each night I crept stealthily along disgusting dank, dark alleyways where rats scuttled as I walked by. I would wander alone seeking out other like minded creatures. Souls who thought like me. I would frequent taverns and would drink warm ale aside a bright glowing fire, talking hours on end to seamen and travellers, listening intently to the songs of minstrels passing through. Wanting I knew not what. Always searching, always seeking, always listening, until one night. Was it fate? Destiny? Or just chance?

I met whom I thought to be another traveller from a land afar;  he was dressed in colourful flowing robes. Dressed in a way not of these lands, his face mostly covered yet there was something very familiar about him even though I could not see his actual face. We talked and he told me tales of a land unknown to me; his land, his homeland. A land of forgotten forests, of dark mists and mysteries, of castles where old souls resided; souls who never saw the light of day. And of Alchemy and Magic and he held me spellbound with his tellings.

Little by little he entered my soul; I became beholden by him and one night as I looked into his shaded eyes, he lifted my hand to plant a gentle kiss upon and in that instant I knew, I recognised those half hidden eyes, those fiery piercing eyes; those very same eyes that I had looked into so many times back at the Court.  Nothing in this life is unplanned or happens by chance and in that moment I knew it for sure. I knew my destiny and I had finally met…

He told me tales of the Old Ones, the immortals who trod the earthly plane unseen, for it was they he said, who kept Guardianship upon the Earth; it was they who kept the secrets, it was they who really wove the affairs of man. Silently and secretly they trod the Earth, never leaving a clue. I was enthralled by his tales. And by him. Was he one of them; was he an Old One too, I wondered?

We would meet several times a week in that dark little back room away from the rest of the tavern; that dark smoky little room that smelt of stale food, musty drapes and unwashed bodies. Far away from the rest of the Court. My heart would beat six to the dozen when he spoke..

Just as it is doing now looking at that envelope…

He promised to one day take me back with him, to that mysterious land. That land that somehow I could never quite locate on the maps of time and yet I could never deny its reality either. Little by little he shared his existence with me and of whom he really was and yet like all good and true tales, talking is never ever enough. There comes a point in time when the talking has to end. Desire and passion can suddenly move a story on in a way no one can ever predict. Illusions are shattered or intensified by just one sweet kiss; one sweet tormented seductive kiss from a man with the Blood Rose on his lips.

All dreams and desires woven innocently in the daylight are forever torn to threads in the nightly hours. In one moment of a dark and silent embrace, life changes forever… Yet I allowed it to happen, craved it to happen. My future life as a human burned on the funeral pyre of immortality. And thus so it was; that was my time, my making, my raising, my becoming. The doors of my new world beckoned and I walked on through…

And so we left the safety net of the Court. For all the faults of courtly life it did hold us tight to its bosom and provide a cloak of normality that clothed us in a comforting glamour. The journey back to his world was long and ardarous. We employed many different forms of transport and help from many kind locals along the way. Always travelling at night we passed through lands I only ever dreamt of previously. I was still weak though and had not yet grown fully into my new persona, but as we travelled he taught me; showed me how to be me. He passed on all he knew as he guided me towards my destiny. And he taught me the Ways of the Blood; so that I too could live within the world of man; seen yet unseen, kKnown but not known. He taught me how to be gentle and that I need not kill to survive. He showed me how to gain the trust of humans and that if I was very patient they would offer willingly the sweetest of all gifts. And so it was,  growing stronger everyday, we arrived together at his family home

Half castle, half cave, half hidden in an imposing cliff face that overshadowed a vast leafy gorge. And it was well hidden for I could hardly see it until we were almost upon it.  When I looked more closely; it was not really a castle at all but just castle-like, formed out of the rock face and which in a certain light disappeared right back into it again. The décor inside his home was very sparse, though what was there was very well chosen and of the highest quality. There were artefacts obtained from many places, all over the earth, from different centuries even yet they seemed unloved, uncherished; almost as trophies. In hind sight, looking back now, I realise that some of his treasures were long lost from the world of man and some had even gained mythical status as never really having existed at all yet here they were. I wondered how he had obtained such items, many of which were holy, sacred items associated with biblical times. They all looked new.

No light entered our world for we were indeed well hidden underground, many of the rooms, if you could call them that, having no windows or doors to the outside world. We lived in peace. In seclusion and in darkness. We did make love and it was wonderful yet it almost secondary at that point in time to the real passion; the real fire that mapped our lives and that which would guide us through the centuries

Outside the cold walls of our fortress I knew that other creatures survived. Wolves in particular, who would hunt in packs and were very good at it; very good at devouring every morsel of their prey, leaving no trace. They always seemed to know when they would be welcomed at the castle; teaching us the lessons of the hunt they lived among us. We however did not always play by the rules. Passion and desire and an instinct that had to be released from time to time did take over now and again and the wolves saw to it that no trace of our dinning ever met the morning sun. But our ‘prey’ needed to be wined and dined and softened up beforehand. And worst of all we had to be nice to them!  And as our broken rules went unseen in the world, time came and went and together we noticed nothing; safe and secure in a world of our making

Yet nothing stays the same for ever and while we ‘slept’ the world changed; wars raged, the Great War raged and raged again. The Cold War raged, modes of travel changed, communication changed, man even went into so called space. There was no longer any place in the world for a forgotten forest and as humanity closed in on us, as we always new it would, it became evident that it was time to move on once more. Time to go our separate ways; for our kind, our kin still had great work to complete in the modern world. Would we ever even meet again? Who knew? We did not. He had taught me well. I knew how to survive on my own now, in this modern world of mankind; i knew I had great works to fulfill. We could no longer survive as a pair, that i did know; the world had become wise, had shrunk and was far too dangerous now. Our world; our cushion of comfort could be hidden no more

The bitter sweetness of our goodbye when it inevitably came was overwhelming and tore me apart. I was his child of darkness, he was my father, my sweet Knight, my lover. We were bound in blood yet would always know the safety of the other and yet the demise also; our hearts now beat as one. And yet on that never to be forgotten damp grey day outside those castle walls our destinies moved us in opposite directions.

And so it was that I thus disappeared alone into the world. I became a spectre. I hid all that I was from this new world and I played their game. My true identity gone for I had other affairs to look after now. I could weave the webs myself now, i would change history, i would be the puppet master behind the puppets. I would guide destiny in the way that the Old Ones desired. My hand was indeed the hand of fate that tormented humanity.

Over the years, into the twentieth and twenty first centuries it was so easy to leave my mark; easy to see where I had been. Though of course, you had to know, to know. Skirmishes, uprisings, freedom fighting, discontent, wars raging between nations, world agitation on a vast scale, famines, deaths; that was all so me. There were a few time when I thought our paths almost crossed, mine and his, my Knight. For he left his mark too; a forest inferno, a blown volcano, vast earthquakes that caused so much havoc, death, destruction, tsunamis and chaos, and I knew, I just knew how much fun he was having with the global warming thing – so him. Whatever you may think my friends we were simply trying to awaken the world. Trying to get them to see the error of their ways before it was too late; to wake them up with a bang. But in my heart; my fear was that it was already too late. Far too late, for no one cared anymore, no one listened and no one saw the error of their ways. And so the years rolled on and eventually, I kind of withdrew from the world completely. And my love? He totally vanished too. No trace. No clues for years; it was too quiet, something was missing. Everything had become too easy and a certain kind of dangerous normality set in; a normality of death, chaos and destruction.

 I had held my carnal urges totally in check for years for fear of discovery. was living a half life; until now; until that night; this night when I caught the eye of one very handsome young man. Totally by chance. I had decided it was time to be on the move again; to move to a different city under cover of darkness leaving all traces of my recent past right where they belonged, in another lifetime. Move on, re-invent myself. I was even thinking of maybe a bit of world travel again, maybe even a bit of old time fun; ah bring back the old times or try anyway. Maybe even give humanity one last chance, one final stupendous curtain call to at last awaken them all. I was having fun just thinking about it.

So here I was sitting in this little late night coffee shop just one turn off the main street and three turns from my cosy little flat, just starring into my cup of dark black coffee. Pondering on my future, making my plans oblivious to all around me; sitting, stirring, starring. Then out of the blue and waking me right up from my thoughts he sat down opposite me…

My eternal spirit, which I had to admit, had started to falter a bit lately, skipped a merry beat I can tell you and tonight I knew I could stand it no longer. My preternal nature, dormant for so long was once again taking hold, was mapping my destiny and giving me a nudge. It had been such a long, long time and he was so beautiful, trouble was he knew it so I played him along. Easy. I could glamour him and be anything he wanted me to be, such a beauty and putty in my hands. After so long denying I needed to savour; needed a saviour to rescue me from the world and the rut I had fallen into. I had worked so hard over the years and needed to taste the sweetness of all that had been forgotten. Once again I was ready. Let’s not beat around the bush; waiting upon that darksome compelling threshold in that little coffee shop, i knew there was going to be a culling tonight and nothing would ever be the same again; well not for him. Sadly, though happily for me, he was so up himself that he failed to notice the source of my desire, my passion and my true need. For me it was survival and renewal pure and simple and a re-acknowledgement of whom I really was. A long submerged truth was re-surfacing; was re-awakening, a rebirth of something that I had held latent for oh so long. And now my heart was beating so fast that I feared it would take flight and soar from my very chest.

I was reminded of the early days so long ago when I first encountered my own beautiful maker. I knew that if he did ever contacted me again it would be for very good reasons; the reasons of which at this time, I hardly dared to think about. We had made that pact, all those years ago before, before we had even parted, and we had signed it in our own blood. To bind, to hold, forever as one. Yet somehow as the years went by, after we parted and he had vanished from my life and thoughts, and even as i knew he would, from the world at large,  time and tide took hold and dust settled upon my eyelids and the importance of our pact seemed to fade from me into distant memory. And so the centuries went by, until now that is…

So what to do I wondered? I will invite him, this eager, handsome stranger, home for a nightcap, take a bath and think about it. Ponder on it. Then decide what to do with him. Although deep down I knew I was only fooling myself, was just prolonging the inevitable.  But events as they always do, took an unexpected turn, call it a twist of fate if you will, but here I was trying to drink this coffee with the mysterious, unopened envelope in front of me and my stranger, albeit delicious stranger, now falling asleep on my couch.

I never the less took a very deep breath and went upstairs, threw off all my clothes and ran a very hot scented bath and slowely breathed in the aroma of beautiful frankincense, that usually did the trick. I was tense and feeling very apprehensive now; he was waiting downstairs, sleepy but expectantly.  I now had a heightened sense of anticipation and perception of everything around me. My usually blissful bath seemed like a minefield of unanswered questions; all just waiting to explode in my face with the perfumed bubbles. I tried to relax, yet all I could see in my minds eye, was that old rucksack; the tatty old rucksack that had remained hidden in my closet for years waiting for the right time; the right signal. A mysterious black envelope in fact.

If I never opened it, the envelope, would it still be true? Would the inevitable still happen? Would ‘he’ do it all on his own? Was the pact indeed still binding?  I emptied the bath water. I climbed out of the bath and donned my fluffy purple bathrobe and with that special bath time glow all around me I went downstairs. I entered into the sitting room and ignoring my now slumbering guest, i lit the candles. No electrics; just candles. The warm flickering glow looked amazing and I felt suddenly more relaxed and open to all that life may throw at me. I walked back into the kitchen and picked up the envelope. I was suddenly aware for the first time of the very musty, pungent aroma that seemed to be emanating from it. It smelt of dank, dark places and of worlds untrodden or undiscovered by mankind. It smelt of his world; our world. It smelt of that long ago castle. But also it smelt of that little back room behind the tavern where we had met all those many, many centuries ago. I wondered if this was deliberate; planned by him? For the longer I held the envelope in my hand, the stronger the aroma became.

There was a heat manifesting from it too which was becoming unbearable to my hands. I sat down quickly on the floor of my sitting room and watched in amazement as the wax seal, ‘his’ seal, melted spontaneously before my eyes. Oh what a good trick indeed, I thought. You always were so very good at an effect or two. Yet before I had had time to see these thoughts completely through, the envelope spontaneously burst into flames in my now increasingly warm hands. Quickly I threw the whole burning envelope into the nearest candle base, just before my carpet could catch light. However as quickly as it had started the fire was out, gone, as if it had never been there in the first place. All that was left in my glass candle dish was a white, delicately black edged card; an invitation in fact.

It was as if he knew I would not open it straight away. As if he knew, all these centuries later that I would hesitate, so he had solved the problem for me. From somewhere, a very long way away I felt him grin. Yet also he had provided me with so much more. I took a deep breath, picked up the invitation and sat down once again in the middle of my sitting room floor. I looked hard at the card in my hand but there was nothing on it. Well nothing that even my eyes could see; Just an embossed black line all around the edge. Now what I thought?  He certainly wasn’t making this easy for me. Maybe heat it again, as that seemed to be his thing? But no that was far too obvious, maybe water then I wondered?  I went into the kitchen and filled a small bowl with cold water and bought it back into the sitting room. I once more seated myself on the floor; candles all around and the cool, clear water in the middle in front of me. Quick as a flash I dipped the card in and out of the water and laid it on the floor in front of me. I stared in disbelief as words began to appear before me on the card. As if by magic I thought, but then magic was certainly his thing too. And dam it, beguilement and he was beguiling me now, just as he had all those centuries before. I could scarcely breathe.  The words appeared as thus and I read them out loud as they appeared:

 invite

 It was signed in blood; of course it was. But yet it was signed in ‘our’ blood; the blood that was still binding and still, after all these years, held our pact within its ruby red secrets. So this was it then? The end game had finally come; the fall of mankind. Fate and destiny merging into one. All the relevant planets in alignment stacking up like giant bowling balls racing towards the final score and yet one extra one at the helm….

Yet why was he calling himself Lucifer again I wondered? I had known him by another name for years. Immediately I had this thought, i could see him in my minds eyes signing the invitation with a mischievous wink in his eye, knowing that only I would ever know and grasp the final truth.  I glanced at the sleeping body on the couch. Oh sod it I thought; if not now then when? I reached over to the beautiful stranger and woke him just in time enough for him to realise what was about to happen before feeding deeply and irrevocally from his warm soft flesh. In his eyes bewilderment. In my eyes deep and utter joy…

 Refreshed and renewed I went upstairs and got dressed. Warm, stout winter clothes, practical clothes. No glamour this time for me, not for where I would be heading or for what I would be doing for this was another kind of party entirely; the party to end all parties. The party before the fall. I found my old battered fleece, zipped it up tightly and then went to the closet to drag out that old rucksack; the contents of which had been organized and waiting for nigh on several centuries, the actual bags had changed over the years but the contents had always been ready. I slung it casually over my shoulder as I went downstairs into the kitchen to gather nibbles and a couple of bottles of water. I switched off the lights and looked longingly at the last drained cup of fresh coffee that I would probably ever taste. Popping into the sitting room, I glanced unemotionally at the lifeless body on the couch, also drained, then picked up the invite and put it in my rucksack and the very last thing I did before leaving the flat was to extinguish all my candles. I took a very deep long breath. It had been an interesting evening I thought.

 I stood outside in the dark, on the kerb, the street lamp above me flickering slightly, just waiting in the darkness for I knew not what. But I guessed, when it happened, it would be something spectacular.  I waited nearly an hour or more yet it seemed like a life time standing alone on that dark, damp suburban street. My brain was starting to ask me what the hell was I doing, yet my heart was beating six to the dozen and my soul was just soaring. I stared down at my chunky black Doc Martins I was wearing grinning to myself as I pictured myself in my sparkly red killer heels; those very same killer heels that now lay tucked in at the very bottom of my old rucksack – a touch that would make him smile to say the very lest…

Then wham! From out of nowhere it came; a faint rumble at first like a distant thunder, then building up to a crescendo of an almighty ear-splitting roar. Totally majestic and wow what a statement; what a bloody fucking return! What sublime style! My darling Knight atop a magnificently souped up motor cycle! This louder than loud revved-up, pimped-up motorbike engine was totally and literally on fire! And what was more; it was racing towards me at break-neck speed silhouetted against the vast black night sky; engines at full throttle, flames racing out of the exhausts as it flew thought the beautiful nightime! It was certainly no earthly vehicle I gasped. It came screeching and sliding towards me and stopped very abruptly to a halt only inches away from me. Then silence…

As the black-leather clad figure who rode aloft this all black, shiny beast of a bike stylishly and with great panache turned off the engine. He so knew my tastes. He could have come wearing anything. As anyone. Yet all this was staged just for me. He coolly ever so slightly tilted his head and lifted his visor. Taking off his black gloves and smiling enigmatically; he looked straight at me; holding out a hand… Dam it and fuck it; I so loved him whatever he was calling himself or dressing up as these days.

 “Hey Babe, how about you and I rocking it up to the party of our lives; couldn’t do it without you kiddo.….”

 I clamoured on board quicker than i had ever done anything in my entire life before and held on to him so tightly that my arms could have snapped right off there and then. And indeed my heart was doing just that. This was the fate and destiny that had been foretold for centuries and I for one was not going to miss it. Fuck it world! You had your chance! The Lord and Lady are back! So lets party!

vampire

  August 2016

Always the blood…

Who can fail to notice that the land is alive
And a thousand eyes that blinked through centuries
Still watch from the hillsides.
Who can not hear the breath of the forest
As night time closes in and the old ones awaken
Fresh from slumber.
Who can not feel the energy of the land
Instilled in streams, fields and ancient ruins;
The serpent paths; the energy lines.
Who senses the criss-cross ways of life
Hiding beneath the surface
Whereon our footfalls meander.
Who feels the power awakening
Within and without;
Ancient power, withheld to many.
Time and tide, my friends, reveals all
Upon a quickening breath of Earth Time
Where shadows fall and tomorrow calls
In a language known to few.
Listen to the winds; to those who writ our tale;
Sit upon the hillside and hear the whisperings
Of those who observe us.
With ear to ground hear the distant rumblings of mankind;
See a fading light as dawn approaches
Rich in a tapestry of a coloured cloak.
Yet all that is, all that was and all that ever shall be
Is but a tiny breath that was once born of a universal desire.
Upon the shore of time mankind twisted fate;
Never knew the land lived,
Never knew the forest breathed,
Never knew the ancient ones slumbered,
Never danced the Serpent Dance of life….
Cept you and i my friend;
We danced the dance with the old ones,
Felt their power,
Trod their ways,
Just you and i
On midnights cusp

 

land (1)

 

moonwillow July 2016

Upon the crossroads; sparkling bright with pale moonlight time stands still

And the past is just a memory fading from view.

The witches of old tis said, merry met with the very devil himself,

Before he journeyed out in his chariot over the moon-bright fields.

The hounds of hell with red eyes shinning crossed over to the Otherworld here

And the longest day just goes on and on and on and the very sun itself is caught in a bright web of liminal space.

It is here sweet love I wait for thee, underneath the Ladies summer perfumed tree.

It is here at midnight I wait as the moon casts a shard of light to pierce my soul.

It is here I will wait and cast my spell in words of ancient tongue.

Here where only the convergence of the tides of time can enchant you to fall under my spell.

I hold my dagger to my heart, my hands steady, words flowing in this ancient tongue I know so well.

My sweet life force I offer thee as a token,

Will you accept?

Sweet force of power that you are, will you come?

Will you meet me upon this midsummer night?

In the distance two dancing hares, two moonlight sprites in the ripening fields.

The energies of the night are entering this realm, slipping through the veil of reality,

I see them, but will you come also?

My blood slowly drips upon the ground as I chant my words.

I light a single candle and offer my precious ruby gift to the flame, gently anointing my forehead.

I become the very gift you need but still will you come?

Will you require more?

What will it take on this midsummer night?

Oh sweet moon of mine, shineth down not upon my soul lest you see me laid bare

Revealed in moonlight upon the shores of time for whom and what I truly am;

Not mortal.

I crave my kin.

Come through the veil sweet love; sweet immortal darkling.

Cast your dark shadow upon my heart;

Leave me not abandoned and alone.

Still my blood drips upon the earth as the crossroads merge into my very being.

As the land becomes the sky

And time stands still

And the still is all.

As the past and future entwine together

I am a part of it as are you

And finally my eyes are clear.

My love I yearn to kiss thine lips upon the delicate rim of midnight

I die a thousand deaths yet live a thousand lifetimes waiting.

Yet you come not

I en-cradle the sweet dark flame of eternity that is forever you

To return next year

Or never….

 

Archangel_Raphael a

moonwillow July 2015

In a world of lies
Mix and match the truths my dears
Illusion hides fear..

globe 1

Wake up and saviour
For the dreams of children fade
Time will reveal all

Tyre Cross

Roses fade and die
Never more a tale to tell
Thorn grasped before death….

Blue Rose

A mighty tower rose
Built of illusion and lies
Manmade religions….

tower

Adueni/moonwillow Summer 2016

“We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun….”

exert from the teachings of The Priory…

I have happily somehow landed into week number four of 2016’s NaPoWriMo. It has been a month of earnest writing, creativity and revelation and once again making a connection to all the wonderful poets whom i share my creativity with…

And now the poetry writing month is at an end i shall look forward to  a continuation of connection to other poets and many fulling days ahead of the creativity juices flowing from my pen (or keyboard!)

 

http://www.napowrimo.net/about/

April 30th

So thus shall i depart
From the challenge poetic
Dear friends and true
Let me bid you adieu

April 29th

I remember intricate ice patterns on the freezing cold window panes
I remember cold breath that froze instantly in the air in the bedroom
And slipping bravely between icy cold sheets that took my breath away
I remember laying in bed so ill for two weeks and writing my first poem
I remember feeling different and not wanting to be one of the crowd
And of escaping into my own world where books and art were all I needed
I remember always loving animals and the natural world
I remember long days spent exploring fen droves and rolling in haystacks
And fishing for stickle backs in steep banked ditches that no longer exist
I remember my pale blue bike and how we travelled around the fen lanes together
I remember the day of the gigantic white water spout over Ely
And how we all stopped and stared in amazement not knowing what it was
I remember rummaging for hours on end in the stationary and book shop
I remember the magic on every shelf as I discovered each treasure that revealed itself before me
And in the magic of my wonder I was suspended, floating in a spell of timelessness
I remember the harsh control at home; of being shouted at; just too scared to breath
I remember a sterile, aggressive environment and of just wanting to be me; to be seen
I remember vowing forever to break this curse for ever…..

April 28th

A drop of pure love
Is all it takes to blossom
Yet true love blooms rare

April 27th

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Upon a lost love gone for years; upon a life lost too
Why so young was angel taken?
Why so young was life forsaken?
Suddenly snatched from mortal realm
With ne’re a chance to say goodbye
With ne’re a chance to wipe my tear
That fell upon my cheek so soft
And so I pondered long and lonely, feeling weary seeking solace
To quest his long lost resting place
A place I knew ere in my dreams
For never in my waking hours his tomb would come to me
That churchyard old and dark I saw
In daytime nothing stirred at all
Why in my dreams and not on earth
I pleaded every night whilst there
In dreams of night his name I call
Through deaths dark door he whispers mine
I wander long, alone and teary, vainly searching, vainly seeking
For that which I am so unsure
A tomb maybe, a gravestone marked; a spot upon some barren ground?
In death and dreams he calls me home
My name he calls upon the winds
In waking hours my torment thrives upon my wretched life
My dreams are that which take my soul
To pleasures black tormented realm
Oh death, oh lover why taunt me so?
I beg you leave my dreams
Yet take me home to be with thee
For in this world I can not live
Yet can not die in yours
Sweet freedom free me from this curse
Of searching lost and lonely
For a love lost in the realms of men
In my dreams his tomb I find
In churchyard dark and dreary
And so upon a midnight weary I wander in that graveyard dreary
In deaths dark realm for evermore…..

(inspired again by The Raven)

April 26th

Some days words don’t come
Some days words beget darkness
Some days words just kill

April 25th

ONCE upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Listening to an old scratched record playing tunes of old for me
Rock and Roll will never die; will live inside my soul; my soul for evermore
The heartbeat of my life and times; the music score of life
Every action a tune within; every thought a beat
Every dream a soundtrack written, a melody of life
Time and tide will march to music; all life’s a tune for evermore and more
My backing track of daily actions, my score of hopes and dreams
And so I ponder on the music; sweet harmonies that shape my life
Midnight weary, not midnight dreary as I crank it up once more
People come and people go, a very fact of life
But tunes endure and shape our world; I know that fact for sure
That old scratched vinyl forever playing will leave me nevermore

(thanks to EAP and his wonderful Raven)

 

April 24th

Words from a past life
Enter my deamtime to mock
Silent tears at dawn

April 23rd

Inspiration arrives upon the dark wings of night
Stretching forth into endless blackness
Where only the soul survives
Yet upon these dark wings of night
Dawn’s bright hour comes upon a stillness
A stillness of soul that can only be answered by the heart
It is of a rustling of leaves upon a still summer’s day
The tinkling of water in an ancient hidden meadow
It is the call of the wild within us all
The stag, the deer, the fox
Yet it is of a falling backwards into dreams
Back to the Old Ones
Who knew how to fly
Those who have taught you
Yet you knew it not
Dark and as dangerous as falling
Eyes wide shut from the cliff edge
It is of a spreading of wings
Of a inner knowing that you can fly
It is of faith, of hope, of trust
Hold the darkness by the silken thread of life
Grasp the soft black velvet of night
And fall into sweet unsuffocating slumbers
Where dream become reality
And futures are forged in the fires of returning souls
Be unbound
Be you
Be free
Be the star
And the sun
And the moon
Be all and more
Sink then into the dark night of the soul
Become the night wings of inspiration
And know it to be your time

Dark Angel

Into week two of this years challenge and finding this a very enjoyable experience; i am in some cases now following the promts as given on the NaPoWriMo website; but if not following as such then finding inspiration in them. There are lots of other wonderfull poetry to be found on the website below, along with numerous poetry writing tips and prompts:

http://www.napowrimo.net/about/

 

DAY EIGHT

It lay in my bloodied hand
The rose cut fresh
Slicing flesh

Velvet red and sensual
Deep scarlet blooms
Hiding the thorns

Blooms where yesterday
Tightly wrapped buds
Sought the sun

And tomorrow petals
Fall dead
Upon sacred ground

I remembered the kiss
That cursed
At dusk

I remember his perfume
I brush my face
With the scarlet

Hidden thorns strike
Brushing my lips
With blood

Memories bloom in shadow
Curses never leave
Unlike the crumpled rose

 

DAY NINE

I stole just one kiss
A dark kiss not mine to steal
Dam it was so good

 

DAY TEN

Running and running yet somehow not getting anywhere
I may be dreaming I thought; this is not real
How can it be and how did I get here?
And the ‘English Place Name’s I encountered
As I ran by seemed just so surreal; unreal
I was on a quest; that much I knew
Seeking ‘The Keys of Enoch’
But only ‘The Goddess of The Labyrinth’ could help me find them
Where was she?
So in I tumbled head-long into the labyrinth
In a rather Alice-like fashion
Yet not a white rabbit in sight
Just old tales, old myths that wove in and out of my mind
On a repeat loop within my head
Chivalry and Knights, of deeds fought and won
Of mystery and magic
Jousting for the hand of a mythical princess
‘The Legends of King Arthur and his Knights’
Spiralled in and out of my brain as I sought the centre
‘The Hero Myths and Legends of the British Isles’ were birthed at The centre of this labyrinth or so the story goes
But how would I get there to find that elusive key?
Or would it simply take ‘The Thousand and One Night’
That I was told it would
But suddenly I was whisked off my feet Dorothy-fashion
By a spiraling storm that plucked me from the centre of the Labyrinth just as I reached it
I held on in the storm as dark winds roared around me
And rain beat down upon my head
And then it stopped, ceased, silence
And I found myself in front of the fallen angel
In ‘Rosslyn and The Western Mystery Tradition’
Home again where I belonged
With heart and soul combined as one

 

DAY ELEVEN

Golden childhood days innocently spent on timeless Norfolk beaches
Sun shining twenty four seven or so it seemed looking back
The long endless summer days where dreams and adventures came to life
And everyday normal life came to a standstill
Summer by the sea yet only two weeks out of real time
But two weeks when time and tide ceased to exist
Bright coloured buckets and spades were all we needed
And an enthusiastic dad who knew all the castle building tricks
For our constructions were always the biggest and most complicated with the longest and deepest moat
Fed by sea water as we held our breath at each approaching wave
We took it seriously and made fantasy worlds amongst the sands
Where princesses, dragons and wizards peopled our minature worlds
At night we donned huge black rubber inner tubes to float dream-like on the warm whispering salty waves
Then kicked for life and for the shore when the sea floor sank away
Fun fairs and penny arcades were an evening delight
Donned in pretty cotton dresses, frilly petticoats and clean white socks
A far cry from the day attire of elasticated swim suits clogged with wet sand
And ninety nines were the latest craze then
So devour them we did
The skies were ever blue, the sand always warm, our hair and toes always full of this damp gritty delight
We ceased to dream for we knew we had it all…
A dark vibe gathered over Europe

 

Day Twelve

Silk sheets and whispers

Passion flowing; fires building

Come the dawn; silence

 

Day Thirteen

Giving love to one
Forever in Shadow Land
Spirit tests the Soul

 

Day Fourteen

If I close my eyes tight and try not to cry
I can still see the blue waves on the shore
Washing over the magic circle inscribed
Upon the wet sand
Four poems you said
That was all it would take
A poem for each corner of the world

 

But the blue waves upon the shore
Seemed to pierce my heart
Breaking through the magic circle
I had cast tight around myself
A circle of hope
A circle of four poems
Squaring my circle

 

You were of this world you said
Yet I always saw your other worldy aura
The magic circle that surrounded you
With blue waves on the shore line; pulsating
I gave my heart
With four poems
But they took you home…..

 

 

 

Angel 2

 

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